However what I see is truth

Borderline personality disorder

When I get lost I always recognize myself as a special person. Everyone regains calm judgment at the end of the conflict and presses responsibility on someone to protect themselves. I do not need to leave descendants in this era and I always want to stay full of fulfillment. Since secular success is unnecessary, I want to live freely and straightforwardly. I have to take in the original self in the times when I do not know what to believe because there is a large amount of information covered. Having anxiety is painful but recently I think that I can affirm my destiny. I simply do not want to be brainwashed by commercialism and can not live the correct way of living properly and I do not want to live with disliked people. I do not dislike my father. My father is introverted, has no guts, runs away from human relations and society and finally chooses jobs of self employed and is at home all the time. My father was introverted and spontaneous speaking to her child, but she had sexual desire and had sex only. Sexuality is strong enough to make 4 children, bald head. I grew up in a poor family and brothers 4 men. My older brother three years older is a character like dung and my mother has a sweet character and lives without exercise. In the worst family composition I tried desperately to crawl but I can not succeed. I understand why I can not succeed. Because I am a child of a parent who has no elements to succeed. When I realize that I can not succeed in my life I have been despised and sometimes acted self-injured. Even if we accept fate, I can not be convinced and I want to ask God.

A human being who is sucking sweet honey

Fate is decided at the moment of birth. There is an experience that suffered from the reality that personality can not be changed and there is a doubt that what is the significance of life. I do not get jealous of seeing the success of others because I am already conscious of death. Humans with strong attachment to living are frightened of dying. The living period is finite, but the dead state is eternal. The joy of living is going to be the fear of death. It is difficult for rich people to get eternal life. It is quite easy for a rider to enter a hole opened with a needle than for a rich man to get eternal life.

I am happy that I have no experience of success

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