monday morning

Admiration for living and fear of death


I am wondering why the feeling of happiness that oozes from a healthy life is hidden all the time in the heart of human beings all the time. I know that I can feel comfort in the silence, it is important for everyone to talk to each other in a socialite like a party. God trying to stop the runaway of human beings and human desires to make life a fun time from start to finish. I think that it will not be a big deal if you encounter various places and people and it is not good to ask for a miracle like event. I was just asking for the next Saturday in childhood when Sunday’s twilight was strangely loveable feeling. My family environment was terrible, so it was not a good feeling for my family at all. I was angry with me always for my older brother who seemed to dislike my father who was annoying my family in the house. I do not know family love and I do not feel like trying for affection of my father or older brother at the age of 33, and I think that it is good to have such a dull human relationship. I do not think I can do it even if I want to make a worldly success in my life. I have no talent and I do not have a chance or a connection. I am not planning to despair, but acting like a contrary to morality, I am clearing the melancholy. I am wondering if I can not help it by envying others and pursue my own way of happiness. I have never kissed a woman with a virgin. I have never had a relationship with a woman and I do not know the pleasures of sex. My first love is my high school grade and my first love was a very smart and pretty appearance. I have never confessed love to a woman and have never held hands or hugs. It was unavoidable enough to fall asleep, lazy, inexpressible, cowardly, because such personality resembled his father. Whether or not to believe that a chance will come someday. I only feel emptiness after talking to himself in a room without anybody. I am a faithful fate theorist and I am just doing it as a destiny for events that happen around me. There are lots of people like Americans and Australians like me and there are many people who are suffering from self hate among white and black people. Everyone is using money to seek spiritual peace. What I think now is that everyone is hungry for honest confession.


Human beings suffering from a dull outcome that no one is bad

A woman trying to lose love to fall into an answering machine from her mother  Loveless 
Families of people suffering from self-control  Up set 
A lucky person who realized that boring daily life is happy  Words  
People who began to feel a sense of danger in sake, tobacco, gambling and pornography  After all 
People who just want love  Conclusion 

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