The pain of birth
I find it difficult to create a masterpiece. I can’t come up with interesting content. I am struggling to express while pursuing originality. I am happy to be working lonely. I only want to post good videos. And it eliminates the idea of mass production. I think that the attitude of seeking high quality means to be reborn professionally. I think that working for money will be a tragedy. I don’t have a greed for money and think that I have to continue my daily efforts. People give up on days when good results are not achieved. But I know the form of happiness in life. Human desires are annoying. It ’s the goal of life, and we end up alone.
I feel that pessimistic thoughts produce happiness
I’m lonely because all the artists tend to break everyday life and relationships to produce masterpieces. Why do people avoid lonely people? Is life like having a party every day wonderful? I don’t think it’s good to keep fulfilling your desire without enduring it. You can’t provide useful information every day, and you can’t come up with a good idea every day.
I am interested in art and foreign culture. I want to grow up. I like thinking about the truth without seeking secular success. But the people talk about the entertainment industry, gossip and politics. The reason everyone doesn’t want to be lonely is because everyone doesn’t want to be lonely. I think that freedom is always lonely. There is no answer to art, and there is no reaching point.
I want to create a masterpiece
People want to enjoy everyday life. And we are looking for the entertainment industry. Commercials that prey on the weak. It repeats consumption by seeing advertisements. People eating at fast food restaurants from Sunday mornings avoid Monday mornings. I am desperately looking for hints to create a masterpiece. To imitate is nonsense, and I believe I have to believe in my own sense. While looking at the film and music industries, all the billboard hits are bad. There is nothing to feel for the weak who consume crap. Human sensitivity may be dull due to convenience. Anyway, I have to spend my daily life and seek inspiration.
99% boredom and failure and 1% miracle success
Every day our whole body cell organization is getting old. And the frequency of cell regeneration is definitely decreasing. I want to have a sense of fulfillment as long as I have time. I have no experience of seeing the sunrise of life as a success.
The person who fails and keeps frustrating is me. I understand myself and suffer from self-hate. Not referring to the work of a successful artist. My own model is Van Gogh, and the only lonely and unsellable artist is my hero. In my case, I can’t accept popular works when I’m pessimistic. I think it takes about 5 minutes to feel the excitement of success within 24 hours. The remaining 23 hours and 55 minutes are a space of suffering and boredom. It’s the life.